Vines planted on the Moon during the landing mission 58 years ago have produced their first crop of quality grapes to be made into wine.

During the first manned landing on the big cheese in the sky astronauts were tasked with planting 2 hectares of Pinot Noir vines. Due to the desirable conditions of excellent sun exposure to ripen the grapes and good elevation to help retain acidity, the grapes look as though will make a well balanced wine that will age well in the right conditions. The wine is to be named ‘One Giant Leap’ and will be available in supermarket chains, most likely as part of their ‘Outside Europe’ range of wines.

Richard Kiel, Commanding Officer of NASA’s wine division had this to say “We’ve been waiting a long time for these vines to produce a quality crop. Pinot Noir is a bitch and she’s been bending us over and spanking us for nearly 60 years. I even took a trip up to the Moon myself in 1979 to check on the progress.”

We spoke with Major Tom Lundi, a wine shop owner in Washington near NASA’s headquarters about the wine, he had this to say “One Giant Leap? More like one giant pit for us taxpayers to throw money into. What the hell has NASA been up to for all these years? First they take our tax dollars to film a ‘moon landing’. Now they have us forking out to grown grapes up there on the moon! If even one bottle of that stuff comes near my shop it’ll be taking one giant leap out my front door!”

With the grapes due back on earth next week we will have to wait and see what sort of wine they produce. Whether it will be rivaling the great wines of Burgundy or stripping paint off local fencing remains to be seen.