Major Champagne house Veuve Clicquot is to switch it’s production to ice wine for the forthcoming vintage after growing bored of producing sparkling wine.

After a tough beginning to the vintage for the second consecutive year, the region’s growers have been looking at ways of making sure they can produce enough grapes so that the CEO’s of the big houses can keep their Lamborghinis and Ferraris on the roads. Jean-Marc Gallot, CEO of major player Veuve Clicquot, has decided that all the pomp and fuss of making the world’s most famous sparkling wine was too much. Protests broke out amongst the villagers of Reims with this decision, where Veuve Clicquot’s operations are based.

Jean-Marc Gallot had this to say “I don’t care what those grubby little growers think. Have you seen the insurance bill for a new Ferrari? I’m not paying it! That’s what this Champagne house is for. Ice wine will eliminate the need for all those silly barrels, making extra storage space for more cars. It will also mean that we can sell the wine straight away, without having to wait so I can squeeze this cash cow for all she’s worth!”

M. Maxime Toubart, President of the Champagne Growers said “Those fuckers in the castles are always screwing us growers over. They never pay for the grapes on time and now they want us to leave them until the middle of winter and pick them in the freezing cold! Well, we’ll see what happens when we sell them table grapes from the local hypermarket. We’ll see how fast those cars are when we stick them where the sun doesn’t shine!”

With no sign of the tension between growers and Champagne house owners being settled, this is one disagreement that may take some time to resolve.