A study recently conducted by scientists has found that a box of red wine has the same benefits as spending a week sweating out sessions at the gym.
A team of boffins from the sports institute of UC Davis have been conducting tests for the past 12 months on volunteers. The original 20 candidates were split into two equal sized groups, with one group being given the wine and another given a placebo. After isolating test subjects for the duration of the study and supplying the box of wine or placebo throughout the week, the test subjects drinking wine were found to lose weight at a dramatic rate. Head Researcher Dr J Rodinsun said she had never seen such dramatic results.
When questioned one of the research assistants said “When we started the lab the lot we threw in there were a right bunch of fatties. I didn’t think anything could sort that lot out, but after seeing these results I think I might give this a go myself.”
One of the test subjects had this to say “I’ll never drink anything else again. Don’t need to go to the gym anymore, so I can sit around on my not-so-fat arse and do nothing. Life is good!”
With a second study being commissioned in the near future, and reported payments to candidates of €80,000 I don’t think they’ll have a hard time finding volunteers.